What can i say i’m not very good at writing so please excuse any mistakes. That’s me Justine Melanie Smithies in the photo above taken May 2012 at my first visit to the Nuffield hospital in Brighton.
I’m a 41 year old trans Male to Female and this May 2013, I am finally getting my surgery. I am married to my wife Julie and i have three children. Samantha 19 , Cameron 15 and Morgan 12. This process has taken a gruelling 7 years to get here and its not been easy at all. From the moment that I realised I had to do something about the way I felt seven years ago , When I told my Wife Julie. That was the worst thing I have had to do in my life. I didn’t want to loose her and I was still very much in love with her and still am. I was prepared to be thrown out and told I could have no contact with my kids etc. I had even gotten used to the fact I would end up jobless and homeless and with no one . Not being religious I still had this niggling feeling that if I carried on living a lie and then suddenly died that I would maybe be forced to say how I felt my life had gone. And I know in my heart i’d have to say that I had wasted it , I lived it as someone, Everyone else expected me to be. Not who I actually was.
Anyway I told her one evening and the look of horror and understandably shock bought tears to my eyes.
We sat up all night talking , shouting with lots of why’s and hows. It was very hard to explain who I was and that I was still the same person. Anyway she said we would work through it and that she still loved me.We sat the kids down and tried to explain what was going on and if they understood and if they were ok. That was the hardest first few months of our lives. The kids did get some stick to start with which did break my heart but eventually more and more people started to understand.
The next hardest part was telling my work , Would I still have a job ???
I work for a marine electronics company Woodsons Of Aberdeen Ltd working on fishing boats where allegedly men are men.
To my Surprise my boss took things rather well and he’s tried really hard to understand , Even my work colleagues have been understanding and although it has been difficult for us all I think we’ve got there.
The skippers and their families have been brilliant I have not had any problems , In fact I have made even more friends.
Anyway i got my surgery on 14th May by Mr Phillip Thomas and all went well until a few weeks after my surgery my son Cameron slipped from cliffs near our home at Slains Castle. He was only 4 days from his 16th birthday when he passed away on Sunday June 2nd 2013.
Anyway this made my transition and family life 100 times harder for all of us , But in time we are getting through it. For those who feel the same way don’t let life’s obstacles get in your way , Go ahead and be yourself. Don’t let others dictate who you should be , You’ll find there are more people out there that will support you than you think.
Its now 2014 and i still have the same job we are just waiting on the Scottish same sex marriage law to become legal so me and Julie can renew our wedding vows and i can get my Gender recognition certificate as i don’t see why we should have to divorce when we want to stay married. The photo below was taken at the top of Snowdon in North Wales when we were on holiday in July.
Cheeky Selfie before a night out in Aberdeen
Me as i am now in November 2015